Procrastination and Denial

You know that uncomfortable feeling that there is something HORRIBLY wrong with your car, and you are pretty sure that you know what it is and that your car will be stuck in the shop for no less than a month and cost you roughly 5.2 million dollars to fix...I am having that feeling.
:(

So in my infinite ability to procrastinate doing any kind of painful activity (such as taking my car to the shop, going to the dentist, or going anywhere near a mall at Christmas time) ... I have put myself to a challenge...

How many different techniques can I use to not have to use my brakes to slow down my car. Thereby avoiding completely the unpleasant and wincing sound of the grinding of metal (where my brake pads used to be) against the very costly (roughly 5.2 million dollar) rotars.

Because certainly if I can avoid hearing the noise, then there is nothing really wrong with my car and absolutely no reason what-so-ever for me to have to take it into the shop and spend 5.2 million dollars.

I can accept that challenge! Bring it on! Sacrifices may have to be made ...

And one of those sacrifices is speed, I usually drive fast but not anymore because if I drive fast then I would have to use my non-existent brakes to slow me down. (Not an option) But by going slowly I can just take my foot off the gas and let the car coast to a stop. Nice!

Downhill slopes present a unique challenge, because let's face it - gravity works (a very hard lesson for me in my younger years - see "Learning to Fly" or "Me and Gravity"). So I have taken to down-shifting, even though I drive an automatic car, and letting the transmission slow the car down - compensating for my lack of brake pads. Good!

Curves can also be a useful car-slowing ally, the more curves in the road the greater amounts of momentum you will lose. Perfect!

Just a small warning here - beware of the curvy but downhill routes, w-a-y too dangerous and it forces you to make very tricky decisions, like:
- Do I grind the brakes further which will now cost me 6.4 million dollars to fix?
or
- Do I careen off the road and attempt to slalom through the trees in hopes of finding one that is both large enough to stop my car but small enough not to destroy it??