winter storm warning?... ha!!!

So this is a long one ("that's what she said"), and from the opening you can probably surmise that I am still a little delirious from the events of the past 24 hours. I haven't decided yet if it is from hunger, dehydration, or exhaustion - my best guess would be all three. This one goes out to everyone who texted, called, emailed, and generally kept me laughing and sane on the longest -23 mile- drive of my life, as well as the following mornings festivities. Thank you all!!!

Timeline is exceptionally important to this story, so I will do my best to post times.
(Special thanks to all who approved me using their actual texts and conversations-their texts are in different colors to represent the different people. You guys are super awesome!)

12:00 pm - discussion begins about closing the office early due to encroaching bad weather (but 8" of snow hardly seems reason to panic after last years 28" storms, so no sweat I think to myself)
12:26 pm text - 'i am not a fan of winter, i can't believe u actually chose 2 live here'
12:28 pm reply - 'i love it! Don't like (freezing northern state) type of winter, but here is nothing!'
12:32 pm reply - 'u weren't here last yr - 62" (total), that is as much as i am tall! icky, i like palm trees & anything white better be sand! *sniffle*'

4:00 pm - the office is officially closed and I start home
4:15 pm text - 'the snow is really starting to pile up here, you should go home early'
4:18 pm reply - 'driving now, txt l8r'
4:39 pm follow-up- 'F*ck, I am never going to get home'
Yes, after a mere 21 minutes, I knew I was doomed...why I didn't turn back and return to the office, well - hindsight, right?
4:45 pm reply - 'R u stuck? or is traffic f*cked?'
4:46 pm reply - 'traffic is f*cked-people stupid!'
4:48 pm reply - 'Just be patient, people drive like idiots here.'

And before we proceed further, for anyone who might be concerned about me texting and driving (I know, I know - big no, no!), this really doesn't count because truthfully, I was parked most of the time.

So I am sitting watching people do completely non-sensical things, like create three lanes where there should be one, attempt to pull around the 8 million other cars ahead of them by pulling into on-coming traffic (no, that won't cause any additional problems in this scenario), and my personal favorite - honking at the guy in front of him!! You really must be joking about that one...honestly! The snow was falling fast and furious and was a heavy wet snow that was clinging to everything. I had to get out 5 times to scrap off the windows because the wipers and heat from the car wasn't enough, and at one point I could only see 20 feet ahead of me.

6:19 pm placed call - 'Hey there honey, I am totally stuck in my car trying to drive home in a snow storm, so I thought I would call and catch up with you. I got your email, sounds like you had an interesting weekend. Can't wait to hear!! Call me back when you can - 'cause I am going to be here for quite a while. F*ck, I am sooo screwed. Anyway, chat soon. Love ya.'

6:23 pm text - 'did you get home safely?'
6:24 pm reply - 'not even close :*( (crying face), i should have stayed at work!'
6:25 pm call - 'Oh my god, you have to be kidding, where are you?'
'A quarter of a mile away from the last time you texted, it is crazy out here and people just don't know how to drive. What a mess!'
We chat, laugh, (and I swear a lot) for a few minutes and end with a 'check back in later'.

6:30 pm returned call - 'Hi there, what's up? I am still at work.'
'Oh, just we are getting hit with a snowstorm and I left work at 4:00 and I am still in the car and we are barely moving at all!! Ahhh! If you are still at work you want to call me when you are done? I will still be in my car. (laughing)'
'Sure, sounds great, talk you in a little while. Good luck.'

I call my son and tell him there is no way I am going to be home anytime soon and to plan to sleep at his grandparents. I know, poor lamb, suffering by being spoiled by his grandparents :) but at least he is warm and safe which is one less thing on my mind. I turn on the radio and attempt to be philosophical about being totally stuck - by pretending to be a rock star for about an hour...using my water bottle for a microphone. I was fabulous! What?!? Like you've never done that...don't believe you!

7:30 pm call - 'Hey, how are you? Are you home yet?'
'No, and we have moved about 300 yards since you last called! Ugh, this sucks!' So we talk about her weekend, family, men, life in general for about 30 minutes, ending in a hasty goodbye because we have actually started moving finally and I need all my focus for navigating through this muck. See I am a responsible driver ;)

8:29 pm txt - 'ok, i have been in the car 4 and a half hours and still have 10 miles to go...i feel totally justified in hating winter. F*ck!
8:31 pm reply - 'Going home? That sucks! You should have just spent the night at (favorite pub)'
8:32 pm reply - 'Trying to! (get home) Yes sucks...i dont think they allow that! But next time i'll ask :) '

Now given the hours in the car, that i didn't exactly plan for, I could use a bathroom...so I start looking for gas stations, 7-eleven, something. Hmmm, either there is no good way to get to one or they are out of power. Uh-oh.

8:31 pm new text - 'Well i know what my next blog is abt...(hysterical laughter)'
8:32 pm reply - 'Should be funny!'
(this is out of order, but context was important) 9:23 pm reply - 'Yes, first time in my life I have ever wanted a penis for non-sexual purposes' ... [btw, if my dad or brother reads this blog, sorry! hehe]

8:37 pm text - 'I am going 2 b a you-tube video for sure, if we don't start moving soon'
8:38 pm call - 'You still on the road?!'
'Yes, and I really have to pee! This sucks!'
'Well, can you just pull off to the side of the road...'
'No, there is no where!' (whimper) But at least I am distracted for a little while with conversation. We hang up. Back to the radio.

So all around me cars are stopped, people have abandoned them and started walking, but just in front of me is a poor soul with his hood up and flashers on. I pull up beside him and ask what's wrong, he thinks it is his battery. So I offer to give him a jump. Now a few things to keep in mind here, before you think - Wow, isn't that nice of her - (1) I know almost nothing about cars and will therefore be completely useless in assisting him (2) the thought of getting out and stretching my legs really sounded kind of nice, even in the driving snow/slush (3) I was hopeful of building some good karma should I be in a similar position of needing help later. (perhaps the third was my downfall - you'll see!) As predicted, I was totally useless in assisting him and worse for him, poor fellow, his car needed much more than a jump. So back in the car ... and now I am cold, wet, and still have to pee - brilliant!

9:22 pm text - ' :*( (crying face), whaaa...still stuck on the road...'
9:23 pm reply - 'Holy shit'
9:23 pm reply - 'LOL, i know!'

During the next little while I called my workmates, found out they were all home (jealous seething for a few seconds on my part...sorry, I am human). Asked one of them to look on the internet for me to see if any alternate routes were any better only to find out - no, I was toast.

9:51 pm text - 'Any relief yet?'
9:52 pm reply - 'No!'
9:53 pm reply - 'Awful! :( oh no that is terrible. Sorry!!'
9:54 pm call - 'Wow, what are you going to do?'
'I have no idea, just talk to me for a few minutes...' the downside of this plan was that she was making me laugh so much that I had to get off the phone before it made matters worse...haha!

Now during the next 30 minutes I put serious effort in to trying to figure out a way to take care of the building pressure in my bladder by; (1) finding a spot to pull off (not happening, because as I may have mentioned, we aren't moving), (2) figuring out some way to adjust my doors so that I can actually be shielded from sight if I go with the au natural method (since I seriously do not want to be a you-tube video for that!!), or ... (3) unbury one of the 10 million coffee cups from the back seat and have a make-shift porta-john. With options 1 and 2 ruled out due to weather and impossible geometric realities of sight lines and visibility, I was left with the intense debate with myself of how to accomplish option 3. My thoughts went along these lines...
Ok, I really have to go...
No you don't it is not that bad, think of something else...
I have been thinking of something else! called people, sung to the radio, daydreamed, counted the number of snowflakes hitting the windshield...
True, but you really don't want to do that...
I know, but I soooo have to goooo...and we are people, everyone has to go to the bathroom sometimes, no one is even going to pay attention to you... (i hope!)

I got as far as undoing my seat belt, figuring out if I could climb into the back seat without drawing any attention to myself, and even unbuttoned my jeans - it was that bad! But wait...unbuttoning my jeans helped - quite a bit actually...maybe I could wait just a little bit longer...please - please - please!! It is amazing the influence that potential public humiliation can have on decision making even for urgent, normal bodily functions.

I start praying profusely that traffic would start moving so that I didn't have to logistically figure out a way to achieve a successful implementation of option 3. Profusely praying!

Traffic actually moves, 6 feet (alright slightly more that).

10:19 pm text - 'OMG!! Are you ok? Hang in there!!!!!'
10:20 pm reply - 'I know! OMG! Just want a bathroom!!'
10:22 pm reply - 'Do you have a bottle ;) that sucks!!!!!!!!!!! I thought 45 minutes for 5 miles was bad!'
10:23 pm reply - 'Haha! Ahhhhhh-thinking about it ;) ... i know crazy!'
10:26 pm reply - 'Hope you make it home soon. Ugh!'

10:27 pm text - 'I am beginning to lose my sense of humor'
10:27 pm reply - 'OMG still out there...how far have you moved?'
10:28 pm follow-up - 'R u at least almost there? I'm afraid even to ask...'
10:29 pm reply - 'Another quarter mile! No-f*ck!'
10:29 pm reply - 'Yikes!!!'
10:39 pm, new text - 'U home yet?'
10:41 pm reply - 'Not even close - hahahaha'
10:43 pm call - 'You have got to be kidding me'
'No, not...' We talk for a nice long while and thankfully traffic is creeping along at a slow but steady pace of 2 miles per hour, which other times would seem like chinese water torture but I was delighted!

11:10 pm call - 'How are you?'
'Hanging in there, we have gone a little further.'
'Did you get to a bathroom yet?'
'No!'
'I can't tell if your laughing or crying'
'A little of both...'
'Wow, you wouldn't believe what just happened, I will send you a picture.'
11:16 pm email - picture of a BIG tree spread all the way across a main road and a squashed car underneath it
11:17 pm call - 'They actually pulled the guy out without a scratch!'

Well, that help put things in perspective, I could have been that guy!

12:16 am text - 'Just at (named) road'
12:17 am reply - 'Wow, good luck what a long day!'

general text - 'text me when you get home'
reply - 'will do'

Back to the radio...and the most difficult part of the drive, because now everyone is tired and cranky and we had just enough speed for people to actually believe that there was hope...which made for some very impatient fellow drivers. Very impatient!

1:53 am - I am finally home (thank you god...i know i swear a lot, but as i have mentioned, i think god appreciates my idiosyncratic behavior), there is no parking to be had in the regular spots so I end up digging a small spot out by the mailboxes and finally...Finally, I get to go to the bathroom...Ahhh.

2:00 am text (repeated multiple times to varies parties with slight revisions for each) - 'Just got home - all safe, thanks for the company tonight. :) '
2:11 am reply - 'No shit!!! Glad you finally made it home safe!!! You would almost be to Florida with that drive!'
2:14 am reply - 'yeah...and then id b warm!!! LOL (& slightly hysterically) - nite.

9:30 am...alarm goes off...
- groan- I go to move and feel like I have been run over by a truck, all the tension and stress of 10 hours of alert driving - ugh. I crawl to the shower, get dressed, pet the cat, and just as I am putting on my gloves...

-tap-tap-tap-

Odd, someone is knocking on my door...I answer.
The sweet young couple (with baby in arms) who live upstairs from me have come to tell me...

THAT THEY ARE TOWING MY F*CKING CAR...Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
No way. Not Possible. Not after last night...I head out the front door just in time to watch the tow truck pulling away with my car!!! (remember my lamenting option 3 of doing good for good karma in return...apparently doesn't always work that way)

'You have got to be f*cking kidding me!!' I shout, 'No way!!!' - unfortunately, this upset the baby, who starts crying and then I have to make myself look calm and happy so they will stop (and apologize to the poor sweet couple for swearing in front of their child) Yep, it is another 'Yay me!' moment. Ack!

The couple leaves me to my misery, I walk into the apartment and call two of my friends in exasperated wonder at my totally sucky luck...after hanging up with the second one. I lose it, that is it - I just can't handle any more and I completely bawl like a baby for a good 2 minutes. Which turns out to be the release valve that I needed but left me weepy when I called the towing company to see if they had my car, was it still on the truck, would they please bring it back to me if it was...by the time the man hung up with me - he actually felt bad for me.

11:12 am text - 'if it weren't for bad luck, i would have no luck at all'

11:15 am - called the taxi to take me to the towing place
11:55 am - arrived at the towing place...looking pathetic, still red eyed from my self-pity party, maneuvering stiffly over the snow from my 10 hour stint in the car the night before. And totally prepared to be mad at the towing company forever and name them in this blog, causing trouble and havoc for them for the rest of their years in business...what? you think that might be a bit too much?
Ok, fine.

But the man behind the counter was the same man who had talked to my weeping self earlier, and my guess is that people usually shout at him, but few cry...and I really looked like something the cat had; played with, drug around a few days, and then squashed, at this point. His eyes got sympathetic, he actually said please when he asked for my money, and even...gave me a discount over what he had told me on the phone.

Soooo, having gone through all of that, I have to say that I have some of the best friends on the planet because I am able to laugh about it AND most importantly their humor, sympathy, and company made the experience worth it. (well, maybe not the towing part ... grrrr!!)

Thank you ALL!! :)

me, the mush

As you all know, I am a hopeless romantic and complete mush, this can be very difficult in today's world where one-night stands, friends with benefits, and no strings attached seems to be the expected mode of 'relationships'. And the days of being swept off one's feet in love appear to be rapidly disappearing. And this gets me thinking about the quickly approaching and dreaded holiday (fuck you hallmark) of Valentine's Day. For myself and all of my 'singleton' friends, we will insert a collective groan here...

Ready? 1-2-3...groan...

And if being single on Valentine's Day (VD - and yes, that is a deliberate reference but it allows me to get some humor out of it!) isn't enough - try having it be your first date with your now ex-husband. Yes, in case you were wondering, the suck factor increases by 300% because then...
I get to remembering...

...dreamy cloud like sequence is about to begin - the calendar is rolling back...

When I came home from work on Tuesday night and my roommate tells me that I have a package on the table. Odd, I hadn't ordered anything but ok. I walk over to the table and my hand flys over my mouth to try and stifle the ridiculously girlie scream that I am making, because I am shrieking and shaking - it is a flower box. (and every woman knows what it looks like and what it means to get delivered, boxed, flowers!!) After I stopped screaming, several painful seconds later (my poor roommate), I opened the box grinning so much I am surprised that my face didn't split in half.

A dozen long stem red roses

-whoosh-

All the breath left my body.

I burst into tears, because - as previously stated I am a hopeless romantic and a complete and utter mush and - this was just too lovely, and I knew from the box exactly who the flowers were from. I mentioned this in, Even innocent things, but I was desperately, crazy, and wonderfully in love with my ex-husband. But prior to the flowers we had gone four years without speaking except for the phone call earlier that same week. So to say that I was delirious with joy at receiving the roses and an invitation to dinner would be a tremendous understatement. I jumped and bounced around the house for 20 minutes - hugging and annoying my roommate to the point of seriously threatening our four year friendship, and returning from my tigger bounding every 30 seconds to sniff the roses, grin goofily at them, followed by reading (and re-reading) the card.

The card was simple, 'Looking forward to tomorrow night'. And the red roses said the rest. (big weepy smile, me the mush, remember)

And the more amusing part was that VD was so far off my radar at the time, because when he asked me on the call if I wanted to go to dinner on Wednesday night I said yes without even realizing what day it was, my roommate ended up pointing it out to me!

I called my dad and babbled about the roses like a teenager. Honestly the emotional euphoria was so extreme that I don't remember anything else from that night.

But I recall very clearly the shear nervous terror that I felt all the next day. Would he still like me? (we had been very close friends years before, but this felt different now) What would we talk about? Why couldn't I look more like Julia Roberts?...you know - important stuff!

I didn't and couldn't make myself eat all that day - I changed my mind seven million times about what I would wear, how I would do my hair, which lipbalm flavor I would put on. I almost vomited several times and picked up the phone to call it off no less than twice. When he showed up at my house I had been ready for 30 minutes (and I am NEVER early) and I actually stood behind the front door for several seconds to take some deep breaths before I opened it.

There he was and he smiled at me.
And I melted like warm honey.

I was sufficiently able to disguise my nervousness by keeping my hands clasped tightly in my lap on the way to the restaurant, and forcing myself to make light conversation...until dinner...

Sushi...which meant - chopsticks!
Dear Lord!

I dropped countless pieces of sushi all over the table, my plate, and finally actually flung one piece several yards away my hands were shaking so much. At that point, to my deep embarrassment, he asked if I had ever had sushi before and if I wanted a fork. (No, just instant death please...and may I have it to go!)

I turned bright pink - downed some Saki - and excused myself to the bathroom to have a serious chat with myself.
Standing at the mirror, it went something like this...

'You stupid moron, what are you doing? Take a breath and stop acting 12!! You know him and he knows you, he asked you out for pete's sake!!!'
followed by
'I know but he is so damn hot, when did that happen and when did his eyes get so green?'
then
'I hope he is having fun in spite of my behavior...'
and
'Well, he might if you would relax and be yourself and stop acting like an uncultured fool who can't even hold chopsticks!'
then
'Ok, ok, I am good, relax - breath'

And so I walk to the bathroom door my hand was on the handle...
Back to the mirror...

'Ok, I am so fucking not good!! Shit, shit, shit!!'

Big breath

'Alright - you can't hide here all night you psycho - get out of the fucking bathroom!'
'Fine! Dammit!'

What?? You mean everyone doesn't have these conversations with themselves...hmmm. Anyway...

I returned to the table where he stands up and pulls out my chair and proceeds to hold my gaze as he returns to his seat.

"You ok?" he asks, with just the lightest hint of a catch in his voice.

That did it the tension was so intense that my system could not take it anymore and it resorted to it's default response...I burst out laughing. (there are times where this response is detrimental; job interviews, funerals, during...well, nevermind that last one.) But this time it was just what we both needed.

"No," I replied, "I am scared to death I am so nervous!"

Again, he smiles.
I melt some more.

"Good." he says, "Me too."

And the rest of the night flowed like wine - sweet, warm, and intoxicating.

...the dreamy cloud disperses...

Tears are stinging the back of my eyes even as I write this, I wish I could hold those moments in my head with sharper clarity.
- the precious fragile time of love just blooming
- the glow of candlelight
- the connection of looking into the eyes of the man you know is going to be your lover
- the electricity in the simple gesture of him laying his hand on my cheek

-sigh-
-BIG sigh-

where was I?
Oh, yes, VD sucks!!! Collective groan in 3-2-1...

3 thousand pounds

Back to random stories from my childhood...my mother, as I have previously mentioned, was a cleaning fanatic. (ok, once a week feels like a lot when you are a child...I mean honestly, if you can't see that it is dirty where is the reward in cleaning it!!)

And as you may have noticed from previous writings, (Learning to fly or Why treadmills are the anti-christ) physical calamity is much closer to me than my guardian angel, it was very true this day, and most days if I am truthful.

Soooo, I was vacuuming the stairs going up to the second story of our house, we had a very old farm house with 14-foot ceilings, so it was a t-a-l-l staircase, made of solid oak (which is really hard, I think I should add). The vacuum cleaner had a heavy canister, about 8-feet of hose, and weighted approximately 3-thousand pounds...or so it seemed to my nine-year-old self, after carrying it upstairs. After vacuuming the top floor I had to vacuum down the stairs (in hind sight, why we didn't just sweep the stairs, I have no clue since they were not carpeted, but anyway...)

The vacuum was on the top step above me while I vacuumed the stair below where I was standing...and so in this manner I would work my way down one step at a time. Or at least, that was the plan.

Until...

Somewhere around the fourth step from the top (of the t-a-l-l staircase) my feet got tangled in the cord and the hose, this completely escaped my notice, most likely because I was daydreaming which I still fall victim to on a regular basis...hmmm, where was I :)

In my blissful ignorance of my feet being tangled, I attempt to try and step down to the next stair...
then the fun begins...

My cord and hose ensconced feet cannot move but the rest of my body has already started to go forward, which sends me into a head first swan dive down the very long staircase. Now let us not forget that because my feet are wrapped around the hose and the cord, I am now connected to the vacuum cleaner.
So what is following me down the stairs...
Yes! the 3-thousand pound canister!

With a bumping, flailing, and painful decent to the first floor, I land in a crumpled mass at the bottom of the stairs...to shocked to even cry out and then...

in s-l-o-w motion I see it coming...the 3-thousand pound canister (whimper)

And I understand how poor Wilde E. Coyote felt in the Road Runner series - because I could see
it hurtling towards me and I was completely powerless to stop it from landing on me.

WHOMP!! OUFFF!!!

All of the wind has been knocked out of me, places hurt on me that I didn't even know that I had, the vacuum cleaner is sitting on top of me, my legs are tangled and totally trapped, and my mother walks into the hallway.

Does she rush over to help me?
Check for broken bones?
Express sympathy and make sure I am still breathing?

NO!!

She strolls through with a non-chalant, "I hope you didn't break the vacuum cleaner."
Ouch!!! But I did get out of vacuuming for the rest of the afternoon!

the greatest joy of facebook ...

is that you can capitalize on the beauty of friends and inside jokes.

because you can write such phrases as:
"do you need more mexicans?"
"where is my invisible jet?"
"rewind-rewind!"
"you can never make me another martini again!"
or
"cack"
and your friends get you - you don't have to explain...mostly.

there is something so comforting about being understood or at least laughed at :)
(and therapeutic at laughing at each other even over long distances, the world is no longer such a big place)

i am convinced that people would need far less therapy and medication if they could laugh with friends more and learn to laugh at themselves. because we all do zany, wild, and let's face it, stupid things and if you can laugh it off with friends then you know that you have achieved success.

so for all of the evils of facebook, like:
"i just got de-friended :("
"couldn't you have told me in person we weren't dating anymore!"
bejewelled blitz - because who isn't addicted to that f*cking game!! Ahhh!
farmville - enough said

there is a sense of community with it that is un-paralleled, because you and 820 of your closest friends can all enjoy the fact that you were a 'rock-star' last night and posted all the pictures! (untag...untag...untag...haha)

you are definitely going to want an 'undo' button on that one :)

pedestrians beware

Okay, I realize that this is a little bit more of a rant than I usually write, but given the frequency of occurrence - I feel it is warranted...and potentially could be used as a public safety announcement.

To all of the pedestrians who walk where I work:
Note, a car is bigger than you, by roughly 8,000 pounds!
So please stop walking out directly in front of my car, against the crossing signals, forcing me to slam on my brakes! (insert cursing here!) Resulting in complete chaos in the front seat of my car because...

I have just lost complete control of my bladder, in my fear that I will squash you (mental note to me, put a towel in the car - just kidding - well, sort of...)

My coffee has dislodged itself from the cup holder and distributed itself all over my dashboard (use number two for the towel-i know 'ewww'... but I couldn't resist). This makes for an extremely unhappy non-morning person and subsequently makes me much more likely to run over the next person who steps out in front of me...so you will have that on your conscience!

The entire contents of my purse has crashed to the floor and scattered under the seat, including my phone. Which means...I will not be able to find it in time to dial 911 to call an ambulance and save your inconsiderate ass when you do this again, crossing at the next block, to another poor driver!!

Also worth remembering, dear pedestrian (tone dripping with sarcasm), is that these circumstances magnify ten-fold when there is any type of precipitation.
6" of snow is not the time to give me 2" to stop my 8,000 pound car!! (simple physics people!)

I just thought you should know.

even innocent things

Sometimes even innocent things can cause problems, we recently had an event at work where another company's filter sequestered and did not deliver our document because it had, shall we say, questionable language. What was so racy you ask?

pussy willows

I know shocking! Cover your eyes!! Run for the hills and far away from those terrible filthy plants!
:)

Now this little incident reminded me of something that happened to me in the early days of my marriage...you know that time - when all you can think of is each other and being together, you call - you write - send up smoke signals.

Well my husband (now ex-husband...that is another story for when we know each other better) and I were completely and absolutely disgustingly in love. It was fabulous!!! We were nauseating (I say with a warm smile), it was so bad we had people, in a bar, that we didn't know throw ice on us and tell us to 'get a room', we ordered a four course meal at a fancy restaurant and sat across from each other holding hands, talking, and kissing so much - we didn't even eat it. Yes, we were that couple.

So...that was a fun trip down amnesia lane - back to my story (thank goodness - right?!)

This was back before I really considered that email wasn't private... and we would write to each other several (hundred) times a day. Just quick notes mostly - with cute / adorable nicknames or references to things we had done the day (night) before...I did mention that we were nauseating...oh good. Then about 2 weeks into our adventures in emailing, my husband phoned me at work, he needed to talk to me urgently. So I stepped outside to call.

He explained to me that we needed to cease and desist on the email exchanges immediately as he was being investigated by the government! What!!

Apparently our emails had triggered the NNSA because we had been using names and codes in such a way that they were investigating him for espionage and terrorist activities and they confiscated his computer! YIKES!!

Two days later, the security team brought it back - smirking. They had, to my humor and embarrassment, read all of the emails between he and I (poor them!!!). Some were innocent, some...not so much, oh my!!! So after the security team got done laughing at us because we were so goofy in love and it was completely obvious that the worst we were doing was writing bad poetry, they did tell him no more emails from work.

Thank goodness for texting!!
:)