dispelling some myths

In the past several months many of my friends and family members have had babies, are having babies, or would like to be having babies. Which prompted some discussion recently with a friend about pregnancy, children, etc. So I thought perhaps it would be a good occasion to comment and lay to rest some common myths and misconceptions about the whole process (get it...mis'conceptions'...hahaha - oh fine, nevermind).

1. Pregnant woman have such a glow about them - no, this is just gas, really don't be fooled and don't sit too close

2. Morning sickness really doesn't only just happen in the morning, it can happen anytime, anywhere, over anything...including a piece of gum!

3. There is never a point when your water breaking in public is not going to be devastatingly embarrassing - no matter how much people tell you 'it is just a part of life'

4. Breast-feeding your child is totally wonderful and sexy, no matter what Americans think.

5. Yes, you do look fat - you are supposed to look fat - you are pregnant and it is ABSOLUTELY ok to look fat when you are PREGNANT!!

6. The most life-altering moments happen unexpectedly, for me it was feeling my son's heart beating against my spine, just the way he was turned for those few minutes gave us a connection that I am unable to explain and really there is no need, he is my love. (and he will definitely kill me if he knows I am posting this so...shhh - our secret)

7. The 'sympathy belly' that is supposed to help men understand what their ladies are going through during pregnancy, is complete rubbish!!! There is NO way that it can...and personally I am ok with that. Because even though they do not experience some of the downsides (sickness, swollen ankles, a constant weight on your bladder, contractions, contractions, and did I mention contractions?) They also miss out on some of the sweetest joys of being 'mommy' - when as mentioned earlier, you can feel the heartbeat, the first times the little one moves or kicks, the quiet moments when you simply feel the life within...miraculous.

8. Diapering your newborn is NOT intuitive, or instinct, or anything even close to that, honestly - it should be an Olympic event. I recommend practicing before they get here by purchasing a large live pacific octopus and attempting to put a diaper on it...the success rate will be a little better than with your newborn - but at least you will know what you are in for!!

So, to all of you embarking on this new path or just wanting to, the best advice I can give (and since it is free, take it for what it is worth) - learn to laugh, a lot, because what you thought was so important will melt like snow the first time you hear 'i love you mommy/daddy' and enjoy every moment - time passes way too quickly. The housework can wait, the laundry will still be there tomorrow, but moments of sitting on the floor with your little one making them giggle until they fall over are fleeting and precious.