practicing safe text 101

1. When entering a bar or alternatively alcohol related environment, turn your phone over to your friend (be sure it is a good friend!! other wise matters could get worse for you), have them reset the password lock so that you don't know what it is, and then turn the phone off. You WILL thank them tomorrow.

2. Say your boss's name is "Jim Jones" and your friend, that you text randomly at 2 o'clock in the morning about your sexual exploits is "Jim Jacobs" - do yourself a favor...Give your 'friend' Jim a nickname ( like 'Satan' perhaps. :) )... that moves him as far away as possible in your address book from your boss! Not that I would have e-v-e-r had anything like that happen to me ... well, at least not recently ... well, at least not yesterday...

3. When you have finally split up with that 'horrible' significant other but you do not want to delete them from your address book, because if they call you want to knowingly ignore their 'stupid, nasty, sh*theaded' self. But then miraculously they redeem themselves several weeks later and you are back together, remember to change their name back from 'stupid, nasty, sh*thead' in your contacts! (trust me...)

4. There are times when even your best friends will not understand "eafoen nivjt farnin" - no matter how many times you re-text it.

5. It may be better just to leave spell check turned off.

6. Deciding at 3 o'clock am on Saturday morning, after an eight hour block of partying, to simultaneously text friends (and ex-lovers) and then be upset and delete the texts (thereby inadvertently standing up your friend, that you agreed to have brunch with the next day, but have no recollection of it, because you deleted it), should be avoided at all possible costs.

(See suggestion #1 above)