musings from the dating impaired - part 4

translation please... (a mini guide to pick-up / break-up lines and what they actually mean)

1. line - "well, i am sort of separated..."
translation - i am still married

2. line - "i feel like we have such a strong connection"
translation - i want to get into your pants before the end of the night

3. line - "sure... (pause) i like kids..."
translation - as long as they are not mine and you don't have any either

4. line - "it is not you, it's me"
translation - nope, it is so definitely YOU!

5. line - "my lifestyle isn't conducive to dating right now"
translation - i am already seeing other people and i am too cowardly to tell you

6. line - "i can't get over my ex"
translation - i am never going to commit to you, but we can still sleep together...right?

7. line - "i just need some space for a while..."
translation - you are suffocating me and it sounds better than "it is not you, it's me"

8. line - "you are going to text me right?"
translation - never going to happen, just say goodbye now, if you have to ask it is already over

9. line - "i just want you to be happy"
translation - i don't care if you are happy i just need to get away from you...far - far - away

10. line - "i hope that we can be friends"
translation - i only say that because i am dumping you, if you were dumping me i would never talk to you again

11. line - "it is just not working for me"
translation - i don't want to try anymore

12. line - "i don't want to hurt you"
translation - i know i will / i will be dumping you in a week / see translation #6