why nice guys finish best

For all of my guy friends who complain that nice guys finish last...
I will respectfully disagree.

First of all, let's define a 'nice' guy and not mistake 'nice' for a push-over or doormat (because nobody should be those things...oh yeah, I know it has possibly happened a time or two but, ideally not). Nice, or so I see it and since this is my blog, my rules... :) ... is about being kind, compassionate, strong, self-confident, having convictions (no I don't mean a criminal record...), a giving nature, just a little dash of scoundrel, and a sense of humor. (I find this last one extremely
important, given the magnitude of times I have made mistakes, both major and minor in my life...without it it becomes almost impossible to see life with a sense of light-heartedness and forgiveness).

Whereas, the 'bad' boy - while temporarily irresistible - is in truth, remarkably flat in character and depth...and what you see is all you get. Compared to the 'nice' guy who shines brighter the more you get to know him because there is more complexity.

So now that we have defined it, I think we should look at the quintessential 'nice' guy:
Han Solo.

WHAT?!?

I can hear everyone saying, well I shall explain (and just because one has the outward shell of a rebel, doesn't mean that they don't have the heart of a nice guy!!) Nice guys have such a bad rap that no one wants to be one, so sometimes you have to look past a disguise or two to find it.

Anyway, back to Han Solo:
1. kind - he saves Chewie from a war torn planet
2. compassionate - gives Lando the Millennium Falcon so that he can actually survive the attack on the death star
3. strong - survives being frozen in carbonite, when, let's face it, a lesser man would have failed
4. self-confident - well, anyone who could still be alive after flying around the universe in a "bucket-of-bolts" is pretty cock-sure
5. convictions - he supports his friends and the rebel alliance, and fights the bad guys head on
6. giving nature - shares the credit for saving Endor with the Ewoks (the biggest single dastardly annoying creatures in the trilogy, but not the point here...)
7. dash of scoundrel - well this one is obvious but Leia, Leia, and oh yeah - Leia / plus he won the Falcon off his friend in a card game!
8. sense of humor - no one without one would actually fly into an asteroid field!

But, wait - you say.

He is a fictional movie character, that is not anything close to real life.

True - I would answer, but it is the qualities that we are looking at here, not just the events...these could easily be transferred to events of nice men that I know.

1. kind - my friend who has a rescue kitty
2. compassionate - my friend who lends an ear to listen to another that he doesn't know because he needs support
3. strong - several of my friends, who as single fathers, have raised beautiful children
4. self-confident - my friends who remain true to themselves in the face of adversity
5. convictions - friends who fight for the rights of others, still open the door for a lady, or give a helping hand to someone in need
6. giving nature - my friends and family who volunteer their time and energy to lift up others
7. dash of scoundrel - :) (pbp, bandit kissers, wolves, vampires, satan - you know who you are and I am just going to say, yeah, they have it)
8. sense of humor - well, they hang out with me, so they have to have one :) hahaha!

This is why the nice guys finish best, because they know how to be men and friends and still keep the spice of life alive.
This is why we love them and cherish them.

So to all of the wonderful 'nice' men in my life - my grandfather, father, brother, son, and friends - thank you!!