I received a Victoria Secret catalog in the mail today, the fact that I order 'dainties' from them completely freaks out my son - so it is worth getting the catalogs just for that! ( I mean really, how does he think he got here, but he probably doesn't want to think about that either - ha! ) Anyway, it made me remember a funny occurance from last year. ( well, it is funny now )
I had placed an order for some new 'items' (quite a few new items actually) and had them shipped to my apartment, with instructions for the package to be delivered to the apartment office since I was not going to be home when it arrived. After a week without them arriving I checked my online order and it said it had been delivered ... called the office - no package. Looked up the tracking number - delivered to door. Drat!!! ( not really what I said ... ) Now what to do? and ...
Question: Who on earth steals a Victoria Secret package!?! It is on the label where it is from and obviously women are not all built the same! So how would you know anything would fit you?? Honestly!!
Called Fed-Ex, order confirmation at the ready - to say it had not been delivered, their response:
"We have the right to deliver to the door and not to an alternate location."
Me: "Then why have a shipping instructions box for comments if you can disregard it?"
No answer.
Me: "Well the package is not here, I never received it and you didn't follow my request. So I would like you to reimburse me for the lose."
Them: "Our records show it was delivered, so we are not responsible..."
The back and forth went on for a while - as you can imagine. The end result - they would do Nothing - even though they clearly didn't follow my written instructions. Ugh!!
Called the credit card I used to try to stop payment ... no luck there either, because the items were actually purchased by me and shipped. Drat - and double drat!! ( also not what I really said ... )
Sigh!
Okay, called Victoria Secret and talked to a Fabulously nice customer service agent - explained the situation and that I had already called Fed-Ex and my credit card company and nothing could be done. Was there anything they could do to help because it was obviously stolen, at which point I stated my earlier question to her - she laughed and said:
"You may not believe it but it happens more than you would think, people steal it and then sell it on E-Bay."
Which brings me to my
Second Question: Who the hell buys underwear off of fricking E-Bay??!
(BLAH!!)
When VS sends items like that there are no tags or anything, how would you know it was new .... Just Ick!!
So VS actually stepped up and resent all the items on my order at no additional charge - Awesome! - I thanked her profusely. Still get the VS catalogs ( to freak out my son ) And I don't use Fed-Ex anymore!!
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Sunday, February 8, 2015
the 'tumbles' of passion
My long time friend and many years ago - boyfriend - reminded me of this ... for lack of a better word .... 'incident', after my recent birthday blog. It would appear that this year's writing theme will be about awkward naked situations - there are worse things :) And as my darling friend from a previous blog said, 'all the best experiences happen when you are naked, starting with birth'. So here goes ...
Back to my long time friend, we met in college, through - Hmmm how to say it - mutual acquaintances (and by that I mean, he was dating the sister of the man I was briefly and unfortunately engaged to, yes - truth is stranger than fiction, Any day!)) Neither relationship worked out well so my friend and I ended up getting very close in the aftermath of the terminally bad experiences we had with 'the others'. And given that he and I are still close today, I think I can count my blessings :)
He is a musician and songwriter, and I cannot help but say it, what woman isn't just a sucker for that (kinda makes me wonder time and again why I encouraged my own son to play guitar - now that he is close to adulthood it feels much more dangerous than it did when he was 10 ... sigh). And as any college students we were passionate for one another, but between classes and both of our work schedules, time together was limited. Soooo - I had a day off and so did he - hooray! I drove over to his house.
He still lived at home at the time and while his mother was always very polite - and truthfully I think she liked me for the most part but couldn't say it - we had different religious backgrounds so I wasn't exactly who she Wanted her son to date. His mother was to be away for the afternoon, so we could have some time alone ... all adult implications implied. ;)
He lived in a split-level house, with his bedroom at the top of the stairs and very visible from the foyer and kitchen - this will be important later ... unfortunately!
We were fully enjoying each other in his room ... when ...
His mom - " I am home."
me - OMG!!! (she had to see my car outside so she knows I am here!)
and we are definitely Not downstairs watching tv - holy crap ... what to do?!?
In my haste and panic I literally flip backwards off of him - and catapult off the end of his bed in a heap of sheets and covers, while flying through the air my knee hits me in the mouth, so I am now lying on my back on the floor at the foot of his bed, naked - hurt - bleeding - adrenaline at full, and he is laughing so hard he is doubled over and crying and totally unhelpful!
"Come help me bring in the groceries" his mother shouts up the stairs.
"Be right there!" he yells while attempting to help extricate me from the mass of sheets and covers between his laughter ... I punch him, hard! and then scramble to find my clothes, hoping I can dash up the hall (which is totally visible from downstairs, as I mentioned) to the bathroom while they are outside and pretend I was just per-occupied when she arrived! (which I was, but not in a way I want her to know!) I hiss at him to hurry out before she comes upstairs and give me time to get to the bathroom ... (Because really neither she nor I want her to find me and her son in his bedroom right now with the crumpled sheets and clothes everywhere!) He has hastily dressed, but looks very rumbled (of course) - I have gathered all my clothes in my arms and am hiding behind the door so he can slide out. He pops a brief kiss on my nose and still laughing slips out and down the stairs.
I am certain his mother knew, she just had the grace to Never speak of it ... thank goodness! And to this day my friend teases me about my less than Olympic quality dismount. :)
Back to my long time friend, we met in college, through - Hmmm how to say it - mutual acquaintances (and by that I mean, he was dating the sister of the man I was briefly and unfortunately engaged to, yes - truth is stranger than fiction, Any day!)) Neither relationship worked out well so my friend and I ended up getting very close in the aftermath of the terminally bad experiences we had with 'the others'. And given that he and I are still close today, I think I can count my blessings :)
He is a musician and songwriter, and I cannot help but say it, what woman isn't just a sucker for that (kinda makes me wonder time and again why I encouraged my own son to play guitar - now that he is close to adulthood it feels much more dangerous than it did when he was 10 ... sigh). And as any college students we were passionate for one another, but between classes and both of our work schedules, time together was limited. Soooo - I had a day off and so did he - hooray! I drove over to his house.
He still lived at home at the time and while his mother was always very polite - and truthfully I think she liked me for the most part but couldn't say it - we had different religious backgrounds so I wasn't exactly who she Wanted her son to date. His mother was to be away for the afternoon, so we could have some time alone ... all adult implications implied. ;)
He lived in a split-level house, with his bedroom at the top of the stairs and very visible from the foyer and kitchen - this will be important later ... unfortunately!
We were fully enjoying each other in his room ... when ...
His mom - " I am home."
me - OMG!!! (she had to see my car outside so she knows I am here!)
and we are definitely Not downstairs watching tv - holy crap ... what to do?!?
In my haste and panic I literally flip backwards off of him - and catapult off the end of his bed in a heap of sheets and covers, while flying through the air my knee hits me in the mouth, so I am now lying on my back on the floor at the foot of his bed, naked - hurt - bleeding - adrenaline at full, and he is laughing so hard he is doubled over and crying and totally unhelpful!
"Come help me bring in the groceries" his mother shouts up the stairs.
"Be right there!" he yells while attempting to help extricate me from the mass of sheets and covers between his laughter ... I punch him, hard! and then scramble to find my clothes, hoping I can dash up the hall (which is totally visible from downstairs, as I mentioned) to the bathroom while they are outside and pretend I was just per-occupied when she arrived! (which I was, but not in a way I want her to know!) I hiss at him to hurry out before she comes upstairs and give me time to get to the bathroom ... (Because really neither she nor I want her to find me and her son in his bedroom right now with the crumpled sheets and clothes everywhere!) He has hastily dressed, but looks very rumbled (of course) - I have gathered all my clothes in my arms and am hiding behind the door so he can slide out. He pops a brief kiss on my nose and still laughing slips out and down the stairs.
I am certain his mother knew, she just had the grace to Never speak of it ... thank goodness! And to this day my friend teases me about my less than Olympic quality dismount. :)
Friday, February 6, 2015
birthday security
Since my last blog I have moved, it is a lovely little single-family home, that I share with my son and boyfriend. It has the advantage of a security system which is very nice when my guys are away - and simple to use ... or so I thought until this morning.
My boyfriend and I wake up at 5:30 this morning (for those who follow my writing you will know-I do not like the mornings) he gives me a kiss, tells me happy birthday and asks if since it is my birthday do I want to sleep in. I give him a grateful and groggy 'Yes' and snuggle back under the covers with my teddy bear and ask him to turn on the security system since I am going to sleep a little longer.
I wake up some bit later and go into a small side room that works as my closet, strip off my night clothes and still sleepy try to find something to wear for the day...but there is this beeping sound - (head tilt) - where is that coming from? My phone doesn't sound like that ... OH Sh*t! That is the alarm going off!
Forgetting about my lack of clothing I dash ( and dashing for me is not quick ) to try and get to the keypad that is in the laundry room to turn off the alarm. Our house has A Lot of windows and only one with curtains, we may have to fix that after today! I reach the keypad just as the alarm timer runs out and the whole house sounds like a fire station on full alert. I am only in my birthday suit - which is hilariously appropriate - in a room full of windows and glass front door ... great! Hi neighbors!!
I punch in the key code in hopes that it will turn everything off ...
keypad message "emergency alert sent - cancel?"
me "yes"
keypad message "sending"
Whew - I think, that was close.
I head back to my room to get dressed, and just at the end of the dining room I hear a woman's voice over the intercom (ps I didn't know we had an intercom!)
"We have a reported emergency, are you there?" she repeats this twice before I can get back to the laundry room, still naked - but having grabbed a dish towel from the kitchen to at least cover some of myself. (and while I am not a very big person, trust me, a dish towel isn't going to cut it!)
me - "Yes, yes - I am here. I am sorry - I accidentally set off the alarm. I am fine."
her - "What is the passcode?"
me - I give her the key code that I have
her - "That isn't it, it is a word."
me - "What!?"
her - "It is a word."
me - "I don't know, we just moved in, I have never had to used the system before like this."
her - "Okay, give me your information, the police have been sent."
me - (internal monologue, Oh F***) gave her my name and phone number.
She hung up.
I fling the dish towel to the floor (not right to not wash it now, so it might as well stay there - well, you know.) and rush to get something on before the police arrive. Ahhhh. Just as I am pulling on some socks there is a knock on the front door - yep, it's the police. After several questions, my apologizing prefusely and them scowling, they leave.
Sheesh! It isn't even 30 minutes into my birthday yet ... oh boy.
I call my son to regale him with the mornings fun, and to laugh at myself a bit. He says:
"Well, it just really isn't a good birthday until the police show up (he is So my son...haha!) but usually you wait for later in the day for that!" He laughs.
"I know! I just wanted to get it out of the way early this year!" Hahaha!
So here is to another year of my getting older but alas, no more mature :)
My boyfriend and I wake up at 5:30 this morning (for those who follow my writing you will know-I do not like the mornings) he gives me a kiss, tells me happy birthday and asks if since it is my birthday do I want to sleep in. I give him a grateful and groggy 'Yes' and snuggle back under the covers with my teddy bear and ask him to turn on the security system since I am going to sleep a little longer.
I wake up some bit later and go into a small side room that works as my closet, strip off my night clothes and still sleepy try to find something to wear for the day...but there is this beeping sound - (head tilt) - where is that coming from? My phone doesn't sound like that ... OH Sh*t! That is the alarm going off!
Forgetting about my lack of clothing I dash ( and dashing for me is not quick ) to try and get to the keypad that is in the laundry room to turn off the alarm. Our house has A Lot of windows and only one with curtains, we may have to fix that after today! I reach the keypad just as the alarm timer runs out and the whole house sounds like a fire station on full alert. I am only in my birthday suit - which is hilariously appropriate - in a room full of windows and glass front door ... great! Hi neighbors!!
I punch in the key code in hopes that it will turn everything off ...
keypad message "emergency alert sent - cancel?"
me "yes"
keypad message "sending"
Whew - I think, that was close.
I head back to my room to get dressed, and just at the end of the dining room I hear a woman's voice over the intercom (ps I didn't know we had an intercom!)
"We have a reported emergency, are you there?" she repeats this twice before I can get back to the laundry room, still naked - but having grabbed a dish towel from the kitchen to at least cover some of myself. (and while I am not a very big person, trust me, a dish towel isn't going to cut it!)
me - "Yes, yes - I am here. I am sorry - I accidentally set off the alarm. I am fine."
her - "What is the passcode?"
me - I give her the key code that I have
her - "That isn't it, it is a word."
me - "What!?"
her - "It is a word."
me - "I don't know, we just moved in, I have never had to used the system before like this."
her - "Okay, give me your information, the police have been sent."
me - (internal monologue, Oh F***) gave her my name and phone number.
She hung up.
I fling the dish towel to the floor (not right to not wash it now, so it might as well stay there - well, you know.) and rush to get something on before the police arrive. Ahhhh. Just as I am pulling on some socks there is a knock on the front door - yep, it's the police. After several questions, my apologizing prefusely and them scowling, they leave.
Sheesh! It isn't even 30 minutes into my birthday yet ... oh boy.
I call my son to regale him with the mornings fun, and to laugh at myself a bit. He says:
"Well, it just really isn't a good birthday until the police show up (he is So my son...haha!) but usually you wait for later in the day for that!" He laughs.
"I know! I just wanted to get it out of the way early this year!" Hahaha!
So here is to another year of my getting older but alas, no more mature :)
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